I remember feeling so carefree; in my world there was nothing to worry about. That's what the adults were there for. I, on the otherhand , was wrapped in my own little cotton wool bubble. I was safe, protected, and most of all happy. As I skipped along the promenade at Llandudno, I could feel the gentle summer breeze . I was smiling and every inch of that smile was sincere. This was when I was seven or eight years old. I don't feel like this anymore.
When I got up that morning the bitter hail stung the windowpane. I felt numb. It wasn't my life surely? Everything that had seemed so good as a child had turned sour. Friends and family tried to cheer me up, they were fabulous, and I don't know what I'd do without them all. But nothing changed the way I was feeling. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to cry. I wasn't sure if I had the energy to cry.
I went out a few nights later with friends I hadn't seen for far too long. The alcohol only helped to numb how I felt. A Florence and the Machine song came on which my friend and I love, so we hit the dancefloor. At one point I just spun and spun and spun. And for those few seconds in which I was spinning I felt so free. Like I had felt when I ran down the promenade as a child. As soon as the song stopped, so did the carefree feeling. And so it's got me wondering. What can I do to get back the carefree feeling? At the moment I find it so hard to even smile. Sorry for being so depressing. Kez xxx
